There comes a time when you turn around and your children choose not to hold your hand when crossing the road anymore, they are little more independent every day, they begin to tackle their own problems, you find out they had a cold and you didn’t even know about it, but they got healthy again without you fussing around them with hot honey and lemon drinks, hot water bottles & without those ‘mummy’ cuddles. You turn around and they’ve grown up. You look at the house you’ve shared with your children, the noise isn’t there, the sibling arguments aren’t sounding around the house, the laughter has gone, the fridge isn’t constantly open, their bedrooms are quiet and empty, there aren’t their friends sat watching TV when you walk through the door. I miss them so much, I miss the noise, I miss their arguing, I miss their laughter, I miss their friends. The house still has Jon and myself, but it seems somehow empty, but I’m not sad about this… on the contrary, it’s good isn’t it? They were always going to grow up, that’s what we’re here for as parents, to nurture that time between birth and the day they leave and of course, to always be there for them as and when needed in the future. If your son’s or daughters have left home happy and on their way to independence then you should be proud, I am! Doesn’t it mean you’ve done a great job?
What happens to the house though when they leave it behind? Ours feels totally different to me. I feel the house to be empty and too quiet for us and the bottom line is… I miss living with my boys. So myself and Jon made the decision early this year to say goodbye to what’s been a lovely happy home and do something completely different. Move on ourselves. Out of that comfort zone. Do something exciting. Sell up and move onto our canal boat – Why not? Let’s get this next stage of our lives started. If you keep waiting for that perfect time, then time just may pass you by, right? There’s a lot to see and do out there, a lot of fun to have. I have previously posted about moving onto our boat when these thoughts first came into our heads and you can read about that Here.
We actually bought the boat around 10 years ago as an empty shell and since then, with a lot of hard work by Jon, it’s turned into a cosy home.
Of course all this means it’s such a busy time at the moment, packing boxes are everywhere, we’re sprucing up the boat ready for us moving aboard, sorting out storage for our belongings from the house which we can’t take to the boat and all those things which you have to do when leaving a property such as, estate agencies, solicitors, change of address’s, calling utility companies etc etc. My head and house are full of ‘To Do’ lists.
One more month and we should be stepping on board our next home and yes it does have a spare room just in case my boys fancy visiting 🙂
I asked myself all those months ago when deciding to do this, “what if the boys need to come home?” I answered to myself, “Our home is their home wherever we are, whenever needed, they know that”. The fact is, with mobile phones and social media, we’re in touch all the time and that will never change. They are happy living their own lives now and I feel comfortable about that.
Are you in the same boat? (forgive the pun), Your reasons may not be that your children have ‘flown the nest’, you may have different reasons. Is this ‘your’ time to do something different? I’d love to hear your stories 🙂
I’ve been on the verge of tears reading this 😭 We’ve all had the best upbringing within our amazing family. Me, Megan, Jack and Joe are always talking and laughing about our times as kids 💗 And now we’ve got a new generation growing ☺️
Awwww that’s lovely 😊❤️
Hi sam. Brought a tear to my eye! As an empty nester too, agree the family home feels easier when your kids move out and on to their next chapter of their lives.. Planning our escape from the rat race, but not just yet…. Your blog is giving me so much motivation ! Also can’t wait to see the boat when you’re in, or near, town!! X
Aww thank you I love to hear I’m giving someone a little motivation 😊 yes absolutely looking forward to seeing you xx
Yes,it is a time to be proud 😊 we did good Sam (my lovely sis) 💞
xxx
😘😘❤️ thanks sis xx
I’m so proud of you guys for doing what YOU want after putting the kids first for so long; just like I was proud of my mom when she did the same thing😍
Thank you so much, that’s such a lovely thing to say 😘xx
Well Sam, not a tear from me, I am too excited about your new journey and the posts I get to read 🙂 A sense of freedom was what we felt as we left the farm and went fulltime in our motorhome, which was many years ago!
Have fun 🙂
Oh my word!! That sounds amazing! Full time in your motorhome??!! Wow I need to know more 😃😃 thank you so much for your support x
I might have to do a blog post 🙂 We sold it last year had it for approx 10 years. 5 years fulltime! Loved it though would not do it again. Too many people in NZ doing it not enough freedom camping spots.
Ahh sounds like you did it at the right time. Yes the freedom camping spots are a problem here too. I do feel the UK aren’t very camper friendly, but apparently Europe are, so we’re hoping to travel over there at some point. Would love to hear about your adventures 😊
Just ask me questions anytime. I will write up about it one day!! More space in France and Spain to camp!
That transitioning time after the kids have left – can relate to that for sure. We always know we’re going to have our lives back at that stage of their lives, and we look forward to it. Yet when it comes, it takes a while to recognise it. Some people never do….. I’m really looking forward to seeing your transition in progress.
Thanks Chris yes it’s been quite a strange few months & you’re so right in the way that it actually takes a while to realise or recognise what it is that’s different or in fact missing from the ‘norm’. 😊
I’m a recent empty-nester too and blog about it a lot. I never imagined this phase of parenthood would be so challenging, but like you, I’m moving on and holding on at the same time. Glad to be following your blog.
Oh looks like we have things in common 😊 it is a challenging time isn’t it? Thanks for the follow, I’ll pop over to yours 👋
It is soooo challenging!!! 🙂
Amazing! I’ve got two more years before the house is empty but I already think about it! Sent by Susie 🙂
Thanks & Hi nice to virtually meet you 👋 thanks for your great comment
Good for you!
We didn’t take as adventurous of a step as going quasi-homeless, but since our kids are now adults we did recently downsize our family home into a townhouse. Now we let somebody else take care of the yard! It’s been wonderful!
I enjoyed reading your essay. I’m glad to be sent me!
Happy Boating!
Thank you for your great comments. Nice to virtually meet you 😊
You too! Looking forward to checking in on your blog every once in awhile.
Oh Sam!! Came over from Susie’s party. Soo loved this post. Yes it is an empty home now after my boys left. Admire your courage in breaking out of the routine to try something new. I wouldn’t be able to do that. 🙂
Incidentally check out my post on the empty nests sometime https://radhikasdiaries.wordpress.com/2017/07/31/fly-high-little-bird-and-reach-the-sky/
Thank you 😊 & yes I will check out your blog. Thanks for stopping by
What a great decision, Sam!!! Congratulations. And, you are right: your home is wherever you choose it to be. What an exciting future you have ahead of you.
Sorry for the late reply. Thank you yes one week to go now 😬😊
Oh, what a delicious sounding adventure! With two thirteen-year-olds in the house, we’re a long way from this kind of possibility, but I can follow your adventures!!
Susie sent me! What a great decision. The quiet sounds deafening. Looking forward to your new adventure.
Thank you 😊
Awww…. wait is that Millie all grown up…? Wasn’t (she/he?) A pug…? (I know it’s not really Millie😊😊this post made me wonder what it would be like when my son leaves. I’ve still got some time but it’s happening so quickly he was 5 the other day now he’s 11…🙈 really nice post…
Millie is all grown up yes & still very much a Pug 😂😂 Awww seems 2 minutes ago when both my boys were 11 😊 now I’ve turned round & they’re 21 & 24 😳😳 happens way too quickly so enjoy every day. Although the house is tidier & less smelly- oh wait – I have a Pug 🙀🐶
😊 oh I am…
I feel the emptiness, on some days knowing that it will happen to me very soon. I am not at all ready for the quiet, and the incidental conversation. Less housework, mind you… so we should focus on the positive and as you say, be proud of a job raising children to be independent, – Well done!
Yes to always look to the positive 😊 thank you